now

A few weeks ago at work I realized how young I am. There I was- bottom of the food chain in a conference room surrounded by folk who are salary associates and are in positions with much more responsibility. Then I thought- oh yea, they are all age 30+. I said out loud, " I am only 25! It's okay that I don't know what I am doing with my life." They asked each other if they even knew what they were doing and each said no- even with 30 years under their belt. Not 30 seconds later, when it was quiet again, I felt hope. I had to say it out loud because each person in that room needed encouragement. "You know what? I do know what I am doing with my life. I am spending it with my family. I am cherishing moments with my husband and sharing in community."

If I lived waiting for a well fitting career just to boost my confidence, so much precious time would zoom by, wasted. I can't believe I even said that I didn't know what I was doing with my life! In that moment I held no gratitude in my heart. I was choosing not to see all the memories and accomplishments thus far and was completely blind to how much love has been given to me. My life is not my own. It is a gift in itself. If my life is but a moment then my job cannot define what I am doing with it. 

I believe that God intends we find a fit. Some of us are called to a career that fits, others are called to a city that fits, and still others are called to a craft that fits, etc.... But I also believe that he has provided purpose now. Above all, our lives are intended to serve. We are to use our unique gifts to bring light to the dark places. Lately it is difficult for me to know my gifts and passions, but that doesn't mean they aren't there waiting discovery. I have to hope in that because I do want to make an impact and inspire. 

So in the mean time,

"What are you doing with your life?"

"I am discovering my gifts while actively spending time with those I love, finding time to learn new things and humbly walking by faith."

If I still don't have a career to talk about when I'm 80, so be it. I pray I will still be able to say that my life has been intentional and filled with more love than I could ever deserve.